


Escape Route

by vials



Category: Declare - Tim Powers
Genre: Gen, Paranormal, Paranormal Angst, Suicide Attempt, desperate measures and some djinn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-06 01:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21218006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vials/pseuds/vials
Summary: When the Soviets get impatient and decide to try and sacrifice you to the djinn, regardless of how much it would psychologically destroy you on an existential level... what you gonna do? Whatever it is, it involves a knife, a fox that isn't a fox, and Guy fucking Burgess.





	Escape Route

**Author's Note:**

> (Finally -- the backlog of fic. From the 2017 batch.)

Call it divine intervention. Kim had no idea what else he could call it; if such a thing really did exist in the way people assumed it did, he thought his escape was a prime example. An unpleasant business, really, leaving him stranded and the better half of lost, but even freezing to death up here would be better than anything that could have come from meekly going along with his captors.

Somehow he needed to get off this mountain, and from there he needed to find his way to a radio. Hiding had given him a lot of time to think about the events leading up to his current situation and he had concluded that whatever was going on, it didn’t add up. Someone was acting without permission. Someone had gotten greedy. If the desire to see the bastard get what he deserved was the only way that Kim was going to make it out alive, he would accept it.

He didn’t know how long he had been crouched in the same position for, hiding in a crack between a rock face and a large boulder. Behind him was the trail he had followed, and he knew there was a fifty per cent chance that his captors, looking for him, would choose that one to investigate. If he was lucky they would assume he had taken the other route, the easier route. If he was unlucky they would guess he might have thought that, and they would investigate this route instead. The one thing that Kim knew they absolutely wouldn’t do would be split up. None of them had the nerve. 

Wedged in the gap as far back as he could, Kim could feel the icy rock pressing in on him from nearly all sides. He was far back enough that he could barely expand his chest enough when he breathed, and the cold from the rock permeated his thick clothing and chilled him to the bone. If he didn’t get an idea of what was going on soon, he was going to have to just make a run for it. At this point, maybe they’d even shoot him out of frustration. 

The closeness of the rock at least stopped him from shivering too violently. He moved his feet inside his shoes in an attempt to keep the circulation going, doing the same with his fingers in his gloves. He was able to focus on the task enough that some time seemed to slip away from him rather than drag itself along at an excruciating pace, but it had distracted him for a second too long.

The sound of a rifle racking a round was unmistakable even at the best of times; up here in the sheltered silence between the rock faces, it echoed unnaturally loudly. For a moment Kim couldn’t place where the sound had originated from, because the echo bounced back and forth so wildly that it was impossible at first to narrow it down to a single location. He looked around his limited view which was mostly in front of him, and then to his right through the smallest gap between the boulder and the falling rock, and finally, above him.

It was there, silhouetted against the sky, that he spotted a figure leaning over him, pointing a gun right down at him. Kim stared for a long moment, his brain apparently abandoning all attempts to think of something for the time being. Finally it hit him that he should perhaps move, and he crawled slowly out of the gap, feeling rather than seeing the gun trained on him while he did so. It was clear he was caught; he might as well get himself to a place where he stood a chance of him running, and maybe even of them missing. 

“Stay where you are!”

Kim knew enough Russian by now that he understood the command, and it caused a flicker of anger to run through him. Whatever was going on was beyond him; there had been no indication of this, nothing. He wondered if anyone had noticed he was missing yet, and cursed himself for not making a habit of checking in with Aileen more, even if it was just for insurance in times like this.

From where he now stood, he could see several others at various points on the rocks, keeping him well in their rifle sights. There was no direction to run in, and Kim could count that there were less of them keeping him at gunpoint than had escorted him up in the first place. He was briefly hopeful, wondering if any of the bastards had fallen to their deaths or been devoured by something, but logic quickly caught up and he realised that they were probably making their way towards him on the trail, where they would easily be able to corner him and drag him away again. This time, he was sure he wouldn’t be able to escape. He cursed at himself again. He should have said to hell with the hiding and just ran instead. Who cares if he had ended up more lost? At least he could say he had tried. Now there was nothing for him to do aside from allow himself to be dragged back up there and he wanted to say _to face who knew what_ but the worst part was he _knew_. Maybe if he had no idea, maybe if he was naïve, maybe then it would be easier for him. He would be blissfully unaware until it was too late, and then he would have no idea. But this? To stand there helplessly, in the full knowledge that he didn’t have another shot, and that whatever was going to happen would finally ruin him? It was so unfair he could scream. He shook with anger as well as cold. A sudden thought came to him, rooted entirely in spite, and Kim gave himself over to it completely.

He had a knife strapped to his leg, for cutting rope in case of emergencies. He pulled it out now, knowing that what he was doing would either be obscured from his minders or it would just create confusion; they wouldn’t shoot him if there was nobody around him to threaten, and they wouldn’t dream that he would harm himself. 

A shame for them, considering that was exactly what Kim did. 

The knife cut easily through his clothing and into his skin, which was so numb that Kim barely felt it at first. By the time the pain hit him the deed was done; he could feel a large gash in his wrist and the blood was hot at first before it began to freeze, clinging and tugging at his skin. Kim twisted the knife slightly to stop the blood from clotting and blocking the wound; somewhere someone was yelling, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. 

It would take them several minutes to reach him. After thirty seconds Kim felt oddly dizzy; he let his legs give out under him and sat in a heap on the ground, his head swimming, leaning further and further to the right.

*****

Consciousness returned to him in a sudden rush that made Kim want to throw up. His head felt as though it were stuffed full of electrified cotton wool; immediately his heart skipped a beat and he remembered what he had done. He wanted to scream. He wanted to tear himself apart for how idiotic he had been. He wanted to cry because he was sure it was too late.

He became aware of something nearby, though he didn’t have the wits about him right now to work out what it was. Whatever it was, it had eyes, and they were fixed firmly on him. Kim had a sudden, awful thought not of what he knew to live on this mountain but of what he didn’t: stray dogs, perhaps, out here for so long that their litters had evolved to survive in the climate, closer to wolves than pets, who would circle him and maybe not even wait until he had died to start on him. His heart was in his throat and he tried to move, but whether he was frozen or exhausted he didn’t know. Either way, he seemed incapable of going anywhere.

Whatever was with him was walking now, circling him just outside of his field of vision. Kim wasn’t ashamed to admit that he closed his eyes, squeezing them tightly shut and trying to focus on his breathing. He was breathing, then. He was alive. Of course he bloody would be. The blood must have frozen in the wound, but he couldn’t work up the energy to try and do anything about it. He was no longer sure he wanted to. The cliffs around him were silent aside from the distant howl of the wind; aside from whatever was circling him, he seemed to be alone. 

He lay still, trying to disguise his breathing. Wasn’t it best to play dead when it came to wild animals? It seemed to work for some time, and then he heard whatever it was pause and then edge closer. Something cold and wet pressed against the skin of his face. It was smelling him, and Kim knew it must smell that he was alive. He felt a blast of hot air as its mouth opened, and then—

The creature clamped its jaws closed on the hood of Kim’s jacket and tugged. The fabric ripped after a couple of attempts; undeterred, the creature moved around and gripped his jacket by the scruff instead, much like a mother with her young. Kim heard growling and claws scrabbling on the icy rock. Incredibly, he felt himself move first an inch, and then another. At one point the creature seemed to drag him onto a patch of ice; for several feet it was simply a case of sliding until they stopped again, and the tugging resumed.

Gradually Kim found himself calming down. Maybe it was something intuitive, or maybe it was a case of knowing and accepting that whatever was going to happen would happen. His arm ached and he could feel the skin tugging open at every movement; at one point he regained enough sense to bend his arm and cradle it, and the creature paused as though wondering if he would try and escape. When he didn’t, Kim got the impression that the creature was pleased with him, and then the tugging had a renewed strength, strength that continued to increase the more Kim simply accepted what was going on.

He supposed it wasn’t the strangest thing that had ever happened to him.

The ground under him gradually became less snow and ice and more rock and sparse plantlife; even so, Kim didn’t feel any discomfort. He was unsure if he perhaps lost consciousness again, or maybe even fell asleep, but one moment he was moving gradually along the ground and the next he was still again, laying on flat ground, looking up at the stars high above him. He wondered, briefly, if he was alone again, and felt an odd pang of loneliness before he realised that no, whatever had dragged him down the mountain was still with him, sitting close as though keeping guard. 

He rolled slightly, using the last of his strength in an attempt to avoid the endless unanswered questions he would be left with otherwise. His eyes took a moment to adjust to the movement but eventually he made out a shape, looking back at him. A fox, larger than usual but not unnervingly so, with eyes that were shockingly human. The fox’s tail was curled around it and Kim could see immediately that it was much longer than the tail of an average fox; the animal also seemed to emit a strange glow, barely perceptible at first but growing more and more evident the longer he looked. 

“You aren’t _actually_ a fox, are you?” Kim murmured, and he could have sworn the animal smiled.

*****

When he next woke up it was to the sound of an engine rumbling nearby. A brief flash of terror hit him in the second before a voice did, immediately familiar. Kim didn’t think he had ever been so glad to see Guy Burgess show up unexpectedly.

“What the fuck happened to you?” he asked, and through the amusement in his voice Kim could hear whatever it was masking. “Christ, Kim. Please tell me this isn’t something else you’re not allowed to talk about.”

Guy eyed the fox at Kim’s side as he spoke; sitting as tall as a large dog, it watched him back with eyes that Guy thought looked as though they had been pulled right out of a person and pushed back into the animal’s eye sockets. It seemed to be scrutinising him, understanding what he said, and as Guy bent down to grip Kim under the arms he saw a flash of something decidedly not fox-like as the angle of his perception changed. He felt his heart kick up a frantic pace in his chest, and he pulled at Kim with a little more force than necessary.

“Come on, Kim, old boy. No offense, but I’ve got the major creeps.”

“It won’t harm you,” Kim mumbled, and for the first time Guy realised that Kim was injured. His coat was torn at his left forearm, and he could see the amount of frozen blood there was nothing minor. 

“Forgive me for being wary,” Guy said, grunting slightly as he hauled Kim to his feet, taking most of his weight. “But its friend was a little insistent earlier.”

He managed to coax Kim into the jeep and shut the door behind him. The thing masquerading as a fox watched Guy as he walked around the vehicle to the driver’s side; when Guy had shut the door and looked out again there was no sign of it. He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry, and flicked the headlights back on to full again. 

“What happened, Kim?” he asked, easing the jeep across the uneven ground towards what barely passed for a road. “You’re hurt. What happened to your arm?”

Kim was unusually forthcoming with information; Guy guessed it was the blood loss.

“Slashed my wrist,” he said, and Guy looked at him, missing a dip in the road and hitting it hard enough that he felt himself briefly leave his seat. 

“Sorry,” he said quickly, as Kim moaned in pain. “Kim—_what_? On purpose?”

“Yes.”

“You tried to kill yourself?”

“I don’t want to anymore.”

“You came all the way out here to try and kill yourself?” Guy alternated looking at the path ahead and looking at Kim in disbelief. “Kim, _why_?”

“No,” Kim said. He sounded drunk, Guy thought, but with another jolt of anxiety he realised that that was probably the blood loss, too. “I didn’t come out here because I wanted to.”

“Someone brought you out here? Or…” Guy swallowed again. “Something?”

“Wanted to give me up,” Kim mumbled. “Not allowed… no permission. Have to… radio… have to use the radio. Later. Tired now.”

“Like fuck you’re falling asleep,” Guy said, reaching over and cracking the vents open. The jeep immediately filled with icy air; Kim gave a moan of protest and turned his face away from it. “Kim. Hey! You better fucking stay awake. I’m not having some weird fox demon thing wake me up and teleport my arse out here just to have you die on me.”

*****

Apparently Guy had made up some story about the two of them getting far too drunk and Kim stumbling and putting his hand through a window. The story seemed realistic enough that the doctor didn’t ask too many questions, though Kim had uncomfortably noticed the way Aileen had been glaring at the injury as the doctor had stitched and bandaged it. Guy had spoken for both of them later, when they had been alone in the bedroom and Guy had pointed out that Aileen probably had far more experience with such things than the doctor did. Kim had wanted to tell him to stop being so bold, but it was true.

“Going to tell me why you tried to kill yourself, then?” Guy eventually asked, and Kim noticed the way his hand trembled slightly when he took a sip of his drink.

“Thought I was facing something worse,” Kim said simply, and he expected Guy to ask more questions but surprisingly the man remained silent. When he next spoke, several minutes and a glass of alcohol later, he had moved on to what was clearly the other pressing subject on his mind.

“What was that thing with you? Out there when I picked you up? It wasn’t a fox.”

“Not quite,” Kim admitted. He didn’t look at Guy as he spoke, mainly because it was too much effort to turn his head. He stared straight ahead instead, trying to flex the fingers on his left hand and wincing slightly at the tugging in the stitches.

“Was it one of them?” Guy asked, and Kim gave a small nod.

“Apparently so.”

“One of them brought me to you,” Guy said, and Kim could feel his eyes on him. “Woke me up. Fox thing, just like the one with you. Might have even been the same one. Damn thing wouldn’t leave me alone until I got up, and then it wanted me to get in the car and start driving. Ran alongside the car. Didn’t let up, no matter how fast I drove. I want to say it was the weirdest shit I ever saw, but we know that would be a lie.”

“You covered a lot of distance.”

“I don’t want to think about how that happened. Happened on the way back, too. Don’t suppose you remember.”

“No.”

Another long silence, during which Guy put away another glass.

“What did the doctor say?” he asked. “Are you going to be alright?”

“Said there will probably be tendon damage,” Kim said, something bitter slipping into his voice. “Oh well. It isn’t my dominant hand. I suppose it’s a small price to pay.”

*****

He hated the way they always saw it. He could see it on everyone, even Guy: that little wince they gave whenever Kim’s wrist gave him trouble, the way they would look away immediately if they saw that Kim had spotted them. Guy, for once, had kept his mouth shut about what had really happened, but the more Kim thought about it the more he was certain that some people, at the very least, had guessed. Aileen definitely had; at some point she had stopped even trying to pretend, and when his wrist gave a particularly violent twinge and caused him to drop the cup he had been carrying, she stared at him, unblinking, for the longest time yet. Kim was sure she was waiting for him to say something, so she could finally confront him about it, and so he abruptly turned and stormed out of the room instead, refusing to give it to her.

He made it to the bedroom before he turned and threw his fist against the wall, out of sheer frustration, out of the desire to give himself a reason for the pain in his wrist that, in his opinion, should have vanished already. The impact was enough to make the old injury ache and burn, and Kim sat heavily on the bed, gripping his hair with his hands and breathing deeply. His right hand gripped his hair with no problem; his left was slack, and the feeling was impossible to ignore.

“You look like you could use this.”

Kim wasn’t entirely sure when Guy had shown up, but he had brought a bottle with him and that was good enough. Kim took a hearty swig from it, against doctor’s advice, and waiting for the alcohol to hit him.

“I don’t deserve this,” he said, and Guy murmured his agreement without even asking what he meant.


End file.
